Cumbucket.....OH MY GOD THAT COMES UP AUTOMATICALLY NOW!!
Drunk in my research methods class at 9:30 in the morning. We should do a quantitative analysis of my mimosa consumption.
I am both scared and jealous.
His "hunger Strike for change" lasted 4 days. Hi welcome to my coke binge last weekend....not impressed
I'm about to initiate a game of drunk UNO.
Drunk UNO has officially been banned from now until forever.
She who has the vag holds all the power. He will learn one way or the other.
Its funny that for once I get home and I'm just as high as my parents are.
Omg just opened my passenger side door and my outfit from last night is on the floorboard.
You just referred to a pillow with a stolen bra strapped to it as "she". Let that sink in for a minute.
Me and tommy were trying to figure out why our printer was jammed, found a condom stuck in the paper slot. #collegeprobs
This snow needs to melt so I can get wasted on someones front lawn
Btw, I feel the need to make sure we have no misunderstanding about this. So here goes. I'll happily mess around with you again. However, I probably won't do it while you're dressed like a creepy clown. Or any clown.
You wouldn't happen to know why there's an inflatable monkey riding a mattress on my roof would you?
He just went to a job interview a sharpie moustache drawn on his face..
We drunkenly made out once four years ago and then he immediately vomited and honestly I've never gotten over him
Apparently I told him the people made me order taco bell I didn't even want it. And then proceeded to turn off all the lights and sit at the kitchen table in the dark and told him not to look at me.
Randomize
