Those kids are glorified dude-bros. It's banal.
i'm surrounded by gay midgets. not sure if i'm bragging or asking you to come rescue me. wait for follow up.
dude i just heard a girl tell another girl 'what part of im trying to get laid tonight dont u understand?'
needless to say i wont be back home tonight
stalking is really helping my grade.. I followed him to a review session tonight
When we ran out of red solo cups we switched to Starbucks cups for beer pong... Who doesn't want to live in Seattle?
as soon as his mom opened the door to let me in the house she asked if i would like a shot
it's gonna be a great weekend
the sad thing is, im pretty sure she was serious about giving me head for my falafel
hold on, were in the kitchen painting a yellow brick road to my vagina on my leg with black light paint.
I Know I'm the drunk girl in the trunk right now, BUT PLEASE LISTEN TO ME!
Ok... I'm a little jealous... Grab her pig tails and ride her like a jet ski. Making motor noises is optional.
got one for peeing in public....called the cop a donut dunking communist...should be a fun court appearance
Im hitting on this chick at a stoplight when all the sudden. i notice this chick blowing some dude in the backseat.
'allo, good sire. how dost thy day goeth?
oh no. you're at that weird Renaissance Festival thing again, aren't you?
I am an inebriated elf. you may fucketh off.
The internet was right. Snorting muscle relaxers is awful
My mother expressed her concerns about my drinking via a facebook message.
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