Oh KT! There was no tea in those Long Islands...
I think my emotional moodswings have reached a new low. I cried for the entire duration of changing my tampon.
Does having sex in the men's bathroom on the boardwalk count as having sex on the beach?
She told you broke her computer after the little square in tetris wouldn't rotate for you...
i'm having flashbacks of crying and telling you i was made out of egg salad.
My phone now knows what I type and it prompts me with frequently used words. And anytime I use "and" and hit the space key two of the words are "unicorn" and "sausage"
I came out, you were peeing on the car and when I asked why you said it deserved it because its a rental
Its only 9:11 and I just somersaulted through a window. Its gonna be a good night
I'm over my straight phase. They all turned out to be idiots and none of them got me off. I'm going back to hot girls with strap ons.
And we had three hours of crazy sex then his roommate ate pizza off me while I was sleeping.
Do you think it would be a margarita if you just out tequila in a sonic slush?
Ok, in complete transparency, I am eating a cookie on my bed naked while reading a Halo novel.
How the hell could he be confused. He had a naked girl running to him. I feel like he would enjoy that.
Spoiler alert: my plans for Halloween are going to make our dealer's birthday look like a bunch of mormon ladies having a scrapbooking circle
I'm like a sensual ninja. You turn your head for a second and.... BOOM I'm naked. It's like a naughty magic trick.
Randomize
