OMG. Drunk.
I'm so glad you fill me in on these things.
Sorry. Must've been trying to twitter.
I'm at a bar that has girls so awful looking even you would not have sex with them.
Well... I doubt that.
I love how you send me nude pics of girls you're fucking and name them by which city they're in instead of their name. "This is Nashville, this is Tupelo, this is Jackson..."
i feel like my life has become an afroman song and idk whether i should be sad about that or not
Who is John, and why is his named carved into our toilet?
Blood drive hookups: you will probably faint during the sex, but at least you know neither of you has AIDS
Two people in the coffee shop I'm at are on a date and talking about how acid has affected them and the girl just mentioned meth. Fuck studying, this just got interesting.
I have a page in my 2010 scrapbook dedicated to pictures of his cock.
I just discovered cum stains from two different guys on my wall. I don't know whether to be proud or horrified.
yes he does come on. what guy wouldnt want his penis named after a dragon
I've never felt so epic in my entire life as I do right now, my bare testicles staring down the ocean itself
Kriste-san. Brian-sensai going to sleepy times acturry. Kriste-grasshopper will spend fun-fun times with Brian-sensai and glorious redbox movie tomorrow yes?
Most creative movie date proposition... ever.
his daughter has his phone and goesss ohhh boobies and shows me a picture of my own tits...
YOU SHOULD HAVE BEEN THE FIRST VISITOR TO CHRISTMASLAND
She made me undress her with my teeth...explains the button in my shit this morning...
Randomize
