dude, when you're random girl from last night came down the stairs this morning she fell all the way down. I laughed. She just walked out. I hope shes ok. Tell her I give her a 10 for that landing though.
I'm handcuffed to your bathroom sink. Save me.
She still cant shoot whiskey?
Im having serious doubts about this relationship
He told me he wanted to show me something beautiful, then just started peeing off the bridge into oncoming traffic
I made him an O's fan. One pic of my tits coming out of a Baltimore shirt and it was done.
You were so calm and collected as you strolled out the door with 40 mcdonalds cups in your arms. It was legendary.
Just pee around me
I made out with a dude last night who has an ex wife. Is this what post grad life is about?
The one time my sister did shrooms she thought she was thumbalina. I can't live my life that way
I don't go out. I live in my room watching Bridget Jones and thanking my vibrator for existing.
Like I would feel weird too if you just cancelled our wedding, cut off all your hair and started twerking everywhere
You fell in the corner and refused to get up unless someone helped you. And then you crawled under the pool table and took a nap.
i've now hooked up with two guys who have tattoos of their sister's names...so that's a reality i have to live with...
Dentist appt at 2pm get milk poured on my tits by 2am
A marvelous 12 hours
I dont need your sympathy!!!! Just a fifth of vodka and gummy bears...lots and lots of gummy bears to take my agression out on.
Randomize