she is graduated, working for the school, and puking in the bathroom of a frat house. she wants brush her hair so she doesnt "look trashy". im in love.
Dude..masurbate with cocoa butter lotion..its like cocoa pebbles just gave me a hand job
Just had to pull out another loan to pay for that public drunkenness citation. I am so ready to graduate.
Since i didn't have a condom I told him to use jump ship method, I think I was overly invested in my sailor costume this year.
I feel like there's no sexy way to pull 12 condoms out of your bra.
There's no good way to say, "sorry your son saw me naked on top of your brother"
how much do I hate his dog? was just googling to see if you can rent a hungry eagle for the weekend hate.
I was in the rappers prayer circle. Then they're blunt circle
Banged former boss. Adulthood achievement unlocked.
Black labs can get you to do pretty much anything...even approach strange men in their bath robes
so, i take that as a legit invitation into his pants
He’s tiny, hairless and humps my leg when he wants sex. He’s basically a chihuahua
All she said was "Do me by Friday."
If I hear that song one more time I will drive to hell and make John Lennon eat my ass.
I’m sorry my lady boner messed up your mojo!!
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