Those kids are glorified dude-bros. It's banal.
Sometimes your consistent use of proper punctuation makes me nervous D:
the girl next to me in class just threw up in a waterbottle during our exam.
Margaritas ran out of lime juice. Substituted Jaeger. Jaegerita not good.
He started yelling "fuck the environment" then puked all over the baby trees
cutting back on calories before spring break by only taking shots instead of drinking actual drinks.
the diet of an alcoholic...
you left a note on your car that said " please dont tow, im to drunk to drive. safety first!"
After a couple hours you decided you were going to walk home but ten minutes later you called and said you'd puked by the side of the road and you needed us to drive you to the art museum.
I'm going for high school drunk, you've got 15 minutes to get here.
I'm like 87% sure some random guy starting biting my ear after grinding me for like 30 seconds... I feel suprisingly unconcerned
You said "bag of dicks" before passing out and falling off the landing
Oh god... Please tell me Sarah didn't see me like this
...you may have kinda punched her in the tit on the way down...
I think I may have some undocumented and undiscovered std that causes girls to go bat shit crazy. How you got it is beyond me
Good morning! So would you prefer me to show up kind of late or on time but looking like I got chewed up and spat out by an episode of Buffy the Vampire Slayer?
Just ate an entire BBQ chicken pizza this better go to my tits
Can’t. It’s taco and dick night.
Randomize
