CNN just did a special on how to do heroin safely.. I recorded it for us
There is an empty space on my boobs where glow paint should be.
I know you're on vacation but you should know I just walk of shamed through a hotel lobby while leaving a threesome on Friday the 13th. Fuck superstition, I win.
i only avoided him because he looked like he was about to have a heart attack and i didnt feel like doing cpr on my day off.
what type of emt are you
Congratulations, you've begun to unfuck your life.
Honesty, no. I just want to shower you with hot dogs.
LET US USE OUR GENITALS TO CELEBRATE THIS VICTORY
I haven't had to masterbate since I started dating him over a year ago. I don't even know if I remember how and my vagina is calling.
Someone has big plans this weekend. Just went to throw away the trash and saw packaging for 3 different vibrators on the top of the stack
I mean, how am I going to build a relationship on trust if he finds out I roofied him?
I apparently got up in the middle of the night after fucking him and started looking for you under piles of his clothing
I woke up in a beaver hat and contruction vest.. I need answers.
Yo I'm lookin at the cows. They're just fucking docile things
My roommate made maccoroni last nigh dropped the bowl off the counter knocking it into the dog bowl he picked up the dog bowl and started eating it claiming it was te worst Mac and cheese ever and if he wasnt so high he would stop eating it hahahaha
He ate me out in a limo while we were driving home. I love bars being open again!
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