i wish peter jackson would direct porn
Fuck 8am classes
Dear Jesus I'm gonna throw up through my eyes
Get your damn GED now that you are harvesting a child in her belly
What is a GED?
Some girl next to me in class is making a list of whta to pack for spring break & it was a normal list until she put birth control in all caps w/ stars around it
I gave the naked guy in the hotel hall a pop tart. He stopped crying.
i can't sleep with him. he has a scrapbook from the girl he lost his virginity to.
He hid IN a snowbank for 2 hours waiting for me to come home. This game has to stop before someone dies.
did i walk over a car last night?
All of our toilets in my house are broken. Thank God I've practiced peeing in the sink enough.
Wasted on the beach. There's children everywhere. A six year old girl even stood over me with her hands on her waist looking down on me as I was passing out by the water
i get the sense she is planing new and exciting ways to physically harm me during sex
Dude made his own urinal by punching a hole in the wall and pissing in it rather than waiting in line. That is the stuff of legends.
I feel like getting drunk at the airport is sort of a rite of passage into adulthood, but maybe i should reserve that occasion for a flight thats not just 1 hr
My aunt asked how many piercings I had and my mom said seven and I said nine and that's how my family found out I had my nipples pierced.
For a second fuck I think last night went extremely well... our sexual relationship is progressing at a pace that im quite satisfied with.
Randomize
