I saved him in my fone as special pumba. he was just pumba but then he found me drugs
fuck yea just found my unicorn costume from when i was 8... still fits
you know that saying beer then liquer makes you sicker, it should be beer then pickles makes you throw up alot, everywhere.
He must be back home now. He moved his box of beer from her porch to ours.
I just won unlimited hot dogs for life. I'm so glad I smoked
searching my car for your cum before I have to give my grandma a ride to the airport. Thanks for this
i jsut feel off the bus, but its ok the driver let me back on. a woman hid her baby from me..
I need a straight guy to pretend to be my boyfriend for 30 minutes so that I can pull off an act of petty vengeance. Interested?
He's trying to marry me, when is the appropriate time to tell him my real name and that Dallas is a completely fictitious slutty alter ego? I need the advice of someone with morals.
I dont think I should be allowed to pick my own boyfriends anymore
Well, thats the first guy to go to jail because of my vagina
Post that event on your timeline
'go have sex with her' ddoes not count as wingman
See what happens when I don't get laid? I make poor life decisions, like buying baby ducks.
That's like doing a cinnamon challenge in my vag - but more painful.
So today was the first day i've been sober since Wednesday according to my roommate!
Randomize
