at a bar with my ex girlfriend.. both men AND WOMEN are hitting on her.. and not one has even looked at me
STOP acting like a freshman, you have a drivers liscence now AND a PERSCRIPTION for birth control. Dont give all sophmores a bad name. Woman Up
so id say it was a successful trip...i only got hit on by one cousin...
Either allow it in a formal toast or i will drunkenly tell your in-laws while i'm dancing on their table. either way, the truth is coming out
These eggs taste like chocolate chip cookies. This is the best hangover ever.
On my way home I stopped at target and bought beer and galoshes. I am a planner.
karaoke mosh pit has descended into fisticuffs, send backup
Your cock is gonna weep like a baby
PA to anyone at the party last night and wondering where your pants are: they are in my backyard.
Tomorrow after you go to the library to look up gay porn, I'm going to come to your apartment to paint a nude portrait of you. Get pumped, plopernickle.
she chased shots of jack with a fucking steak. i'm in love.
i passed out in front of ihop...for the second night in a row. i think i need to reevaluate my life choices
Quick question. If you break the bathroom sink off the wall from fucking on it, can you claim it on your homeowner's insurance as a 'natural disaster'?
On cleanup... i've counted 94 solo cups so far.. oh, and i found a miniature top hat in the microwave
dude im trying to eat his ass so can you stop for 10 minutes
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