Ill do this for you.
You are a team player.
This is me making up for not putting my tongue inside you more.
Haha I wonder if my burp offended him. So I gave him a fist pump to signify how friendly I am
Listening to her yell about my drinking problem is not helping my hangover.
Just saw my father's penis. Don't know what to say.
As a matter of principle, I waited until noon to start the drinking binge.
I'm covered in European cum. How's your day going?
The Blue Grotto manager called. He asked me for your name and number. Apparently, on reviewing the videotape he noticed you consumed a whole pizza by yourself. He indicated that he has a tshirt for you and wants to put your picture on his eating wall of fame. Apparently, you are the first such person to complete this incredible feat of eating. Congratulations to you!! I am so proud.
Only you two could pull off a partner swap with honeymooners
Pro: she asked me to be a bridesmaid. Con: i only have about nine months to get over a phobia of midget strippers.
You were visibly distraught that my boyfriend and I didn't have sex in your bed. You forced us to take your condoms.
i woke up this morning put my hand under the pillow and there was a banana there
My ex is having a baby and I'm over here planning my dogs birthday celebration...
When is the party?
Hey, it's Valentine's Day weekend and were single and off our periods. Let's live like queens.
This morning when you were fucking me you said you'd go to the store and get me tampons and a 30 pack
I just found a ladybug shell in my underwear. What was I doing last night?
Randomize
