I asked my mom, she said yes...but you have to shower with grandpa.
I just want to know how you cleaned her puke off the twister mat with no gloves. And didn't throw up
i really thought "pants-shitting drunk" was an unreachable level until last night
All I heard was "You have collect call from Lafayette Parish Jail for Dude it was awesome! I'll tell you about it later!"
I just want you to know how happy I am that you are circumcised.
How many vodka infused gummi bears count as 1 drink?
The cougar has a calendar on her wall of when she can give topless handjobs again. I pity her husband.
Fyi your toilet is not contaminated. We'd have to scissor pretty hard to pass what I got.
Well on a lighter note, I had sex in a food truck.
I've figured out why I love winter sex. Because I make them leave the beanie on, and we all know I love a man in a beanie.
Is it possible to sluttify a hobbit costume? Cause if so, this will be my biggest accomplishment.
The only times we have to apologize in this friendship is when you intentionally punch me and that's only happened once so it's okay
I think you know you’ve caught feelings when you’re asking a tinder boy his opinion about your current fuck buddy.
How do I sound like a lady while communicating the fact that I want his dick in my mouth?
So random question: what's a good way to tell your brother that his Skype sex kept you awake last night? I'm not really sure how that conversation begins.
Randomize