Idk how she did it. Either she watches freakier porn than I do, or I really need to go get tested.
Night out in new white coat = success. Offered free breast exams all night, two took me up on it, woke up with one. I love medical school!!!
I kno. She bruised her chin trying to swim thru the hardwood floor.
then she said she was half-a-virgin and that she would appreciate it if i would finish what her old booty call started
You're not required to sleep with every guy that spends $10 on you.
Just woke up from a dream where you lived in a gingerbread house on a snowy cliff by the sea. The dolphins were swimming away from a giant dust storm. You REALLY ought to smoke this before bed tonight.
i left because you were standing at the top of the stairs throwing shot glasses and bottles full of alcohol at me and yelling JAGERBOMBS
If you were awake I would probably ride my bike over, fuck you like a god, leave you in the wonders of life, and bike home
i'm covered in glitter and body paint WTF
We're showing the video later bring pizza
Another beautiful Sunday, another beautiful day the stick is not positive. Amen.
You'll be happy to know that the bruise is gone from my cock
I would rather suck a dick or two than go there
When I get off work and you're not around to hang out with all I do is lay around in my underwear and eat potatoes.
I just wish he would stop trying to bring his emotional baggage into our sexual relationship.
How ironic... opening your legs for closure.
Randomize
