I wanna blow your doors off so bad right now.
Doors?
Rock your world. Blow you out. Skeet skeet.
So I went out tonight...met a guy who slightly resembled my dad,huge creeper, he asked me to "hang out" so I gave him my moms number since he was more her type:)
I used to practice getting hit by cars.
i just did the math...im a product of my mothers birthday sex
Im pretty sure he just said he wants to make a baby with me, but he's pretty shitfaced, so I'm not sure if he knows who I am.
we hotboxed my bathroom. with nine people and two dogs.
Mainly I just wanna pet bunnies. And purple chicks. Well any color chicks if I close my eyes. But purple if I open them.
I am a 5'4" ball of sexual frustration and vodka. It is that kind of night.
So our trip to Disney World ended in the three of us stripping at a gay club in orlando.
I flashed the bar tender last night. Apparently I wanted a whiskey to go and that was the golden ticket. This is why I never come home
Adulthood is making your own puke bucket.
There was pot, but there are no Doritos, no Funyons, no Oreos.
Send help.
Btw, how did you break into my room, and why did you decide that covering the mushrooms with a blanket was more secure than a lock on my door?
You talk the same way I hallucinate.
just passed a kid drinking a beer at 2pm. clearly it's the last day of break.
Randomize
