I'm waiting for seagulls to eat this throw up
Is it wierd that I kind of wish I could hang out with Melissa Joan Hart?
Tell her to not eat the pizza she threw up on.
Yeah, it was all fun and games until I realized that it wasn't my tent, and I had no idea who those people were
two words...techno handjob
You've eaten a Lean Pocket for every meal for at LEAST 3 days now. Get your life in line.
Well someone has to be the Christmas slut at the family dinner. I suppose it's my year to fill those shoes.
it wasn't a normal cookie, i figured that out 45 minutes into my exam
Someone just bought me a one liter long island and call me maybe is on. I'm going to die
I have full custody of my vagina however you are granted visiting hours
I'm auditing financial statements and ur growing weed this is bullshit how did this happen to me
I spilled beer everywhere which led to an oil fire and me melting a spatula again. And then I was late to class so I explained what happened to the teacher.
Today I learned that I have a bigger dick than Draymond Green
His truck was very sexy. Unfortunately, shortly thereafter, I discovered that the whole overcompensating thing is very true...
And I’m prepared, because I'm in it to win it (and by win I mean get railed hard)
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