It's like a parade of train wrecks.
hey, here's something you don't have worry about since you're a girl: finding crusty cum in your bellybutton.
3 different guys in my psych class know me as 3 different names and said hi to me with all 3 different names-Andrea, Grace, and Bella
I've never been more proud of you
And if you don't call me, I will embarrass you publicly with a can of spray cheez.
have u ever looked at the reflection of the water n watched the poop come out of u?
why can't you just be normal
if i found out she had a dick after i got head, does that still make me gay?
Between the plague n the counterfeit drugs we brought back from mexico I'm not thinking too highly of their country right now. Screw mexican homeless men.
Just went outside to gather hail to use to make margaritas since we ran out of ice. That's God's way of helping us out.
Maybe you shouldn't go to cosmic bowling, i don't know if cum glows and I don't wanna find out i'm sure his parents don't either.
is it weird that I didn't think he was hot last night when I was making out with him but right now I'm Facebook stalking him and think he's really attractive??
your beer goggles are on backwards.
I can feel my ovaries exploding thinking about them.
It's still to early in our relationship to tell her I was sleeping in my car
Worse than that. I caught my roommate jerking off to a topless stripper in gta 5.
JUST BECAUSE I LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED DOESNT MEAN IM GOING TO LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED AT WORK
I put purple lights under my bed and asked him if he wanted to fuck in a spaceship.
Randomize
