After last night I still want u
But please keep that on the DL
you were almost asleep and mumbling "your penis is on my cheek"
I am not one to point fingers but since it says your name "wuz here" next to the dick drawn on my stomach I am holding you personally responsible.
Its like a relationship where they cockblock each other.
This is the moment in my life where I take a fork in the "nice guy" road ive traveled for 23 years and fuck everything in sight that doesnt have herpes, or is in-between flare ups and I don't know about it until my dick is on fire.
Dont tell her I prefer to have an aura of mystique surronding me and my penis.
i dont know how he's 22 and thinks emoticons will get him laid. lady boner just died.
I was able to hide the fact that I had just shit in my pants, and then wupped her ass at FIFA
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
The last thing I remember is crying and shaking my head as she was putting salt on my hand. I guess I took the shot
I've drank literally 19 beers and am still good. Utah is worthless
I am in the bathroom at work, pooing while eating pretzels. Hungover Fridays are in full effect
That guy has been pretty randomly in and out of my vagina for 4 years...I don't think I'm required to tell him when I'm dating.
Good point.
I'm drinking because I just started here and every single person I work with wants to quit and when I asked a coworker how she's doing she literally just started crying.
And my butt misses you like the deserts miss the rain.
Randomize
