Just found out its our ciliated mucous membrane that traps the molly when we snort it. Biology does relate to life
you were sleeping on the floor, then you woke up and told me you were not comfy enough. You took the carpet in the bathroom put it in the bath and you slept there.
The fact that she put a frat guy in check tells me I did some good raising my little sister. Time to see if she does keg stands.
I want "hickeys on my ass" sex
I asked him how his night was and he sent me a picture of a bottle of Ciroc with a bendy straw...
My makeup looks extraordinary for nine tequila shots, running four blocks, falling asleep with my face in the toilet, and doing the walk of shame across campus in the rain. And to think I'm single.
Cute boy and deffffff wearing a HS shirt. I am getting too old to be inaccurate.
I'm so high. Midnight pancake breakfast in bed
He got hit with a horseshoe, set on fire, fell out of a tree, and puked all over the side of his car, all before midnight. Everclear.
I really thought I'd be the only alcoholic drinking alone in my car at noon in the Lowe's parking lot. Passed out dude in the car next to me begs to differ.
I had a dream that I had to take a breathalyzer but then it turned out to be a bong....why can't that be real life?
It's not even 6 am and I've already told my mom to fuck herself in the face
Being able to fart in her presence and not be judged is why I pay half the rent.
Is it customary to send a 'thank you card'to someone who gave you awesome oral as a gift at your housewarming party?
it's not rock bottom until you fall down an escalator on the way home from a hookup and have to have you dad come pick your drunkass up at 3am. Adulthood.
Randomize
