Dan is more possessive of me than a Michael Jackson is of McCully Caulkin
was*
True, R.I.P.
I wish they had a home preganacy test, but for STDs
I woke up with spaghetti in my mouth
I guess I should mention that I have already fucked the Fed Ex guy.
That changes everything.
oh my god. i just found my camera... on top of the bush outside of my house. never let me drink everclear again
The glockenspiel player has some booze though so hopefully the ride won't be that bad
Haha o man how much you've grown. From beer bonging wine and wearing cargo shorts to well, beer bonging beer and wearing cargo shorts
I rode on his Vespa around Florence and fucked him in an empty train. It was like a way sluttier version of Lizzy McGuire
Luckily my prof thought I was puking from nerves and gave me motivational mini speeches the entire final.
yep you were here saturday. if you woke up smelling like vanilla i can explain.
Nope. Flying out tonight. Staying with my great aunt who is an ex nun turned hostel owner. Best and likely most dangerous St. Patty's Day to commence in 10 hours. IRELAND!
Be safe. And I hate you.
I am disappointed by everyone's lack of ability to dance on a stripper pole:(
Whiskey and tits go great with anything. Especially fire.
I think it's important to not involve Bar Food in any near future decisions.
i showed up really high and was trying to not be,so in order to not seem high, i got plastered
Randomize
