Pussy?
how
Wat do u mean how?
Just grabbed my laptop and a beer to take a shit. Mom gave me a look of disgust. I miss college.
i'm out of college. that means no more sex on a twin bed. ever. i don't care how big his dick was. i'm classy like that.
thanks for at least making it out of the pool before you threw up
look at his last status update. 3:41 a.m. "i love u and miss u already egg burrito. happy trails friend." OF COURSE HE SMOKES POT.
on a brighter note, the cop thought i could kick adams ass if it came down to that and said he had $20 on me if it ever happens
It's a never ending cycle of men I've fucked knowing other men I've fucked. I need a new town.
Next time someone asks you what your spirit animal is do you really want to answer the iowa state fair butter cow?
I think we need to dedicate ourselves to building your stamina back to uterus breaking level
you know it's been too long when the heat of a pizza box on your lap turns you on.
I slipped in the shower today and broke my lighter..
I just wish he'd leave so I can vomit in peace.
After we had sex he began to tell me the craziest places he's had sex. He told me KFC bathroom so I rolled over and went to sleep.
I just found out my younger brother has me saved in his contacts as "Womb Primer" and I don't know what to do with this information
I shouldn't be allowed to be in america for NYE... or any major holiday for that matter
Randomize