SOME GIRL GOT MAGGOTS IN HER COOCH FROM EXPERIMENTING WITH MAYO!
i am pregamming alone in my car. scale of 1-10 how alcoholic is that
im pretty sure thats an 11
I caved and texted him. But it's strictly drug dealing business so it doesn't count.
It was literally the size of a half eaten tic tac.
I rode on his Vespa around Florence and fucked him in an empty train. It was like a way sluttier version of Lizzy McGuire
Yes. I feel like complaining about sex all the time with a 21 year old might be punishable by death of the sex gods so I try not to
I fucking give up. OKC is where small penises go to disappoint me.
Side note, from now on any snap chat I get that isn't interesting enough... Is getting a dick in response. Judge your snaps accordingly
There's a ton of international students in my suite and I'm just sitting in this chair with no pants on eating frosted flakes
Sometimes the gods of alcohol choose to take you on a mysterious journey and you just have to go with it
I told him about the time I blacked out and shit myself and he still wanted to have sex with me that night. Feeling pretty optimistic about where this fling is going.
Let's hurry up so I can puke at home instead of my van
That awkward moment when you realize that last night you walked from in n out to petco, bought a mouse for $3, named it mogar, taught it how to skateboard on a techdeck, made it a home out of a trash can, fed it fruity pebbles and cheese, and then forgot where you left it.
He said that we couldn't refer to each other as brother and sister anymore cuz we were in no way related and he would love nothing more than to get naked with me.
I woke up handcuffed to a bed wearing nothing but an army belt. Does this count as thanking our country?
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