like semen in my mouth is absolutely disgusting but i'd still like to experience it
I forgot it was 4/20. that COMPLETELY explains the 7/11. i was like "that's a lot of white dudes... and they're really into snacking."
i think i am going to devote my summer to making my cats internet celebrities
Went to my car this morning. Found a waffle from Waffle House in the front seat. No idea how it got there. So hung over I ate it.
couldn't find my pants so i stole a pair of shorts from the passed out kid in the corner.
After he finished his girlfriend called him. I sat there, tied his shoes for him, then he high fived me and said "this is gonna be a great summer steph"
You just kept holding your breath for a really long time and calling it lung excersizes.
You may genuinely find a use for the siphon. But the bag of human hair is less likely.
We were walking up the stairs and I asked Dominick what floor the party was on. The cop who had just tried breaking it up was walking down the stairs, drinking a slurpee, and answered, "Third floor."
It seems that only way I've actually improved myself after 2 years of writing for the school newspaper is that I've mastered the art of descriptive words to improve my sexting skills
I get a nose bleed and my uncle is automatically giving me the "your doing lines off dashboards again aren't you" look
Why were my jeans in the freezer of the mini fridge, and how long have they been in there? On another note, I found my teacher's ID badge.
yes we're having sex but I'm texting you...so what does that tell you?
You just thought it would be a good idea to show your penis to your best friend. No harm, no foul.
The thing about online classes is the prof can't tell this mug is full of beer.
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