oh no, I think we did it in the 'front asshole'
Do you ever close your eyes when your having sex with your girlfriend and pretend she didn't get fat after high school?
How do you know one of your one night stands hasn't produced a child? You may have hundreds of kids.
Pretty sure I don't. One night stands are purely anal..no exceptions.
Trying to find something to do here is like trying to find a vegan resturant in alabama.
It's nice to sit in the library and see the progression from freshman pledge to 6th year coke addict all at one table. Gotta love sororities
I'll tell you what, we couldn't have asked for better binge-drinking weather.
proof that my night is going well: I can still open doors
Anderson Cooper just came out.
Crying tears of glitter and rainbows right now. Gonna decorate my dildo like My Little Pony in his honor.
well it got awkwardly quiet so i looked up, slapped his stomach, said "youre the best!" while pointing at him, and went right back to sucking his dick.
So we came to a decision, you need to fuck your hot roommate and send us pictures. We voted, so don't hate the democracy this great country stands for
Whatever. I am not explaining the physics of my dick slapping.
You're right. I woke up today with my ugly sweater still on and no pants. I'd say it was a successful night.
I'm sexting with a 20 year old that has a foot fetish... This is what Sailor Jerry drives me to do.
the only things my left hand does: catch/hold things and masturbation.
I'm perplexed as to why anyone on this planet is straight
Randomize
