He cant even get with danielle. Thats like striking out in t-ball
Their bromance is so intense that they don't even eye-fuck when they see each other....they eye-make-love.
just witnessed some guy trade his friend $5 and a condom for his keys.
if i can get a chik with a dibaetes pump naked a sling certainly isnt going to get in my way
I'm sitting at my desk looking through our payroll system photos to find my next boyfriend. Abuse of power or awesome?
I put the condom across her upper lip. It was like a mustache of a job well done.
Blacked out, Had to be carried out of the bar again by two large black bouncers. Asked them to be my "boo thangz" Again.
Why is it that every study session with you turns into a hunt for drugs?
I walked in, the bartender looked at me, grabbed 3 shot glasses and a pounder. Lined them up on the bar then made a line with salt on the other side of them and said I wasn't allowed to cross it.
I'm trying. I feel like we're trying to have sex with fruitcake. dry and boring.
I HAVENT SEEN A PENIS IN 5 WEEKS I REFUSE TO REMAIN CALM
I know he’s a bad decision but he's casual, his penis is amazing and his technique is on point.
I looked so sad that Jessica gave me a bar of soap. So that's where I'm at.
He gave me an orgasim so fantastic that I had an asthma attack.
She's dancing around licking a fork of nutella. She is not sober.
Randomize
