I may or may not have just visibly given him head in front of three young children and their mom. They all looked mortified.
I think we should make a list of challenges so that when stuff like that happens, we can check it off. Like a scavenger hunt for hoes.
every time i recognize a doctor or patient at the hospital on this rotation, i just pray it's not from my blackout saturday makeout slut moments...professionalism shouldn't count on weekends
How do you have time to get laid so much in law school?
I like to set goals for myself. for example, he was my first libertarian
sticking your hands in the toilet to wash your face is not acceptable. ever. i don't care how drunk you are.
I found him CRAWLING across the garden. He saw me,smiled,and asked for a napkin.
C'mon pople!!! THursday afternoon isnot gonna drinkin itself!!!
Came back with a random sweatshirt, an American flag, and a for sale sign. Mission success?
I told the person I was on the phone with to hold on while I looked for my phone. I think it's time to stop doing dabs.
Dude come to her party. Someone just took a body shot of rubbing alcohol
I broke my foot jumping out of YOUR window under YOUR watch. You failed me drunk guardian. You failed.
the fact that you trapped hornets in a mailing tube to put in his mailbox does not surprise me sadly.
Going overboard is basically 75% of my personality
I'm a gorgeous hot mess
So is he the one who got away?
They all got away. I’m a catch and release kind of girl.
It’s like a sexy version of those choose your own adventure books from when we were kids. No matter what you choose, there will be penis!
Dude I had my dad cock block me once
Randomize
