I thought you said his peep was too small
it is but i have no money and nothing is on tv until 7 when americas next top model comes on.
two of my INSANE ex girlfriends just texted me saying their coming over because im home alone. needless to say, im deleting my twitter.
Through a series of unfortunate circumstances, I think I just sprayed lime juice on my vagina.
Every time he makes fun of me for anything I just remind myself he ate ice cream out of a strippers vagina
i just remember pinky promising you guys to take care of him.
I think online classes were designed around the concept of day drinking.
Did he seem like the type of guy that would maybe take weed as payment?
I chugged that bitch with a dip in.
You somehow managed to be a man whilst drinking a Mike's Hard. I commend you.
And my coffee table looks like something out of Scarface
She makes margaritas with lemon-lime 5 hour energy..thats brilliant
and you were wondering how she got into Harvard
Well I just finished dry heaving so I think breakfast is a little further out for me
Looks like I accidentally stole two of your beers and left my pants at your place.
How did you leave without pants?
Remember how I have such good luck that it's almost bullshit?
I'm afraid to ask, but go on.
my ex finally blocked me on all social media and tbh I'm only pissed because his roomate just got a puppy
I woke up and he already had a joint rolled waiting next to the bed. Love.
Randomize
