STUCK IN CAPS. WANA GET AFTER IT TOMORROW?
Oh man I wish you'd been in the car w/ me today. I followed a school bus home filled w/ young boys and I flipped them off the entire way. They loved it.
you kept lying down on the floor at the bar just to prove you could get back up
Everytime I think about NYE, my gag reflex kicks in.
Its like I was sleeping with a kid. His gum fell into my hair while sleeping and he just wanted to cuddle.
Also, new rule: You are no longer allowed to send me a text with the word "dildo" in it before 10am.
he was inside of, then got up said "we don't want you having a baby," grabbed his car keys and left. so now i'm just sitting on his bed, wondering if he's coming back.
i think the theme of this summer is "shitting in weird locations."
Just got a Snapchat of his dick with the caption 'We miss you.'
That's true love, there.
You know, I think I'm going to rock the shit out of this whole mid-twenties thing. Fuck babies and weddings -- I have vodka and young cock.
I'm just more comfortable with the bondage
I gave you keys to my house and drugs. This must mean we're in a relationship.
I'm sitting here with a band aid on my labia, this is a first
she squeaked mid orgaism. I laughed she cried
My one night stand from last weekend is now taking me on a date this weekend. How is this my life?
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