I'm at this poker game and this kid to my left is bragging about all the chicks he hits including a "playboy model" when all of a sudden this 22 guy looks him in the eye and says "ever fuck a 70 woman. The things they can and are willing to do" Next think the whole table is quiet for an hour. That guys my hero...
he fingered my asshole thinking it was my vag...I couldn't bring myself to tell him, mostly from shame for me and pity for him
Thanks for making me watch you dance provacatively by yourself in the bathroom so you could see if you looked fat.
i say over christmas we have a beer pong competition with the cousins and see who really has the best genes in the family.
The hardest part of getting a new computer is deliberating whether to start the cycle of porn and viruses all over again.
He kept saying 'your mouth is Amazing' even after I was on his dick.
Just so you know you don't have to worry about me picking up any guys tonight. The Hilton is hosting guests from the North American Gay Volleyball Association and the Comic Palooza
mind if i send you a dick pic? so you can see what she wasn't doing right?
Just watched an entire Mariachi band walk of shame home together. Halloween at its finest
Someone touched my vagina when we were out last night. The fact that it was you is inconsequential and I am still counting it as a pull.
I know. I feel like I should be doing mature responsible adult things though. Like getting loans, working 60 hours every week and not eating burritos in bed, ya know?
Hey! Where are you? It's Irrisponsible Patio time and you're not here firing shots down summer student's throats
I'm dipping store brand pepperoni pizza in bacon flavored ranch dressing. Obesity tastes so good.
Molly was fun. I was in a captain planet onesie in Wal-Mart talking to everyone haha
I already popped my bottle of Rose and took my boxers off. No can do muchacho
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