why do all the strippers look like they came from fraggle rock
Sorry about all the noise last night. We were trying to break bottles by kicking soccer balls at them. If it's any consolation, there's shattered glass and blood all over my kitchen.
I five year old is judging me because I just opened a bottle of Sam Adams with my teeth before 8am
It's official, no more fat chicks or even close to that, my balls are 2 dimentional
Until then we have the self affirmation from retweets and nights alone with pizza..
After i finished him. He goes "youre a champion"... Then whispers "forever"
Tell me again why I left before the topless cake fight
I feel like weed makes my smarter. I'm watching the stocks and the way I understand if, do not invest in Yahoo right now because they are not fit for that.
I turned around and there were three 10 year old kids running around with sparklers. Weirdest college part ever.
Welcome to Philly.
You're the second person to offer to fuck me in the bathroom at work. Idk whether I should feel honored, or if cvs is just a turn on.
Note to self:A blacklight toga party at a frat house is a bad idea. Some things cannot be unseen
did you just try to prove your straightness by quoting a lady gaga song?
I'm kinda glad you won't be in Vegas tomorrow because you'd make us go streaking or throw dead animals at them.
Met a beautiful Irishman two nights in a row. I may never come back.
Try sleeping with him.
Why is it that all my gay friends have that solution...
Cuz you will have an answer or have sex.
Randomize
