you always know who the new freshman are on fb because theyre always wearing prom dresses
In hindsight maybe we should have moved his homework instead of playing quarters on top of it.
We decided to smoke and then made crosses on our foreheads for ash wednesday
mom would be proud
I wish guys would just cum water 'cause you don't have to worry about being pregnant and it'd be like a squirt gun fight
Two man bar crawl was hectic. Just found leaves in my pocket.
the "its better than getting an actual virus from an actual porn star" argument failed.
It is official. It's the year of doin married chicks. Similar to the year of virgins but without all the baggage.
We created a neighborhood watchdog drinking game
im sleeping with a therapist...so you can talk to me.
Totally just made a post sex emergency cupcake run. My life is awesome.
Evidently I placed three booty calls at the same time...it was an ugly scene. I'm never getting that high again.
extra points if i make kids and or the elderly cry
yeah the cops just showed up and they got there ass handed to them at beer pong.
Whats a polite way to say 'if you havent put on a freshman 15 i would like to see you during break'?
She's throwing a party for a guy that just got out of rehab?
Randomize
