in the practice room. just found 3 bottles of smirnoff hidden inside the piano. SO glad i didn't get into berklee...
I really hope I'm not the first person who's had to wash vomit off of cash and credit cards.
i jus got home and totaly forgot i had nut all over the back of my shirt
..im mad u rememberd about that
couldnt find a condom. used a surgical glove instead. actually worked and the sex was great. thanks nursing school
Lauren she was gnawing on a dresser. Gnawing. On. A. Dresser.
All I had with a note saying that my shoes are in the ceiling and good luck.
Come outside. The vendor wants to go out strong tonight! Russian hooker interviews. Don't ask. We leave in 3 minutes.
Oh thank the gods of upholstery, i thought that was never coming out...
Wow. Last night.
I knew you were shit blasted when you called me your "sunflower queen"
When your hungover saltines taste like hope...
I just want to give face wipes a shout out for being there when im too tired or high to wash my face at night
i just want to die with dignity and clean teeth, is that too much to ask?
Nothing like a near-death experience to start off your Thanksgiving...
Your youporn search history says otherwise.
My sinuses still burn from snorting red wine last night.
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