I had a good time, probably would have a bigger headache today if you were in town.
I was just at the urinal, started to go, then farted, then said oh yea out loud, then heard someone move in the stall behind me
I told them you could toss a salad like wolfgang puck
there is just no excuse for touching your mothers vagina.
How many times can I tell him I wasnt expecting sex before he realizes I'm just too lazy to shave all the time?
i screwed him while his gf was puking in the shower. 2011 is looking up already
Hungover snowboarding. Puked off the lift and traumatized a group lesson for kids. Crash course on adulthood.
I don't know what's happening. Everyone is wearing beaks.
i'm sad. The beetle crawled away. I was only trying to get him stoned.
I was too sleepy and drunk to verbally annihilate anyone and ruin their reason for being. So i just opted to sleep with the fitted sheet on the floor
I can already see the regret in her eyes. Amazing night. This city rules.
He drunkenly stumbled over to me and told me my "crotch looks spectacular tonight"..... i think this could work
fuck school, let's just become the worst strippers ever
i think we sleep fucked last night...
While the cops were busting my party one of them said. O you have an Xbox? Do you play online? Whats your gamertag?....
Randomize
