Tell her she's as useless as a condom.
ur penis kinda felt like a vagina to me
he told my vagina that he was looking forward to meet it
She brought an overnight bag to my party. Might as well have shown up wearing only a thong and a bottle of whip cream in her hand.
we're going to dress like we're asking for it, because we are
its hard to take this fight seriously when one dude is an oompa loompa, and the other is a "g spot"
Its hard to hear the music in here over his nasal whistle. And his breath smells like old milk. I think I need more vodka, and he better be buying. You owe me.
How do I tell my child he was conceived on a barstool in South Alabama?
I've been called an asshole for a lot of things in my life, but I never thought it would be because of potatoes
There is no way to say this. Dude, I peed your bed. No questions, no answers. My flight leaves in 30 minutes. Use my detergent. Also, THE VODKA IN THE FRIDGE IS YOURS.
I can't believe it is only 1:30...I may have to stab myself with scissors for an excuse to go home...
In case you were wondering I realized something last night, Rick James was correct. Cocaine is a hell of a drug.
Hey bro are you still alive??? I'm sure you are wondering how you ended up laying on the floor at the foot of your bed and why there is a wheelchair by your door....
The day will come again young grasshopper. For now you must complete your training of patience and tongue biting
He stopped the gas pump at 69 and gave me my receipt. He wants it.
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