Dork........ .......... .. . ...... ........... .. . ... ...... .. . .... ..... .. .... ... .......... .... . . ..... Yeah its morse code, no big deal
But I don't consider them one night stands. They're auditions.
alcohol. turning childhood friends into awkward hookups since the dawn of civilization.
Thanksgiving break drinking is a marathon, not a sprint, and i need to be well rested
you grabbed his arm with one hand and the bottle of smirnoff with the other and headed off to your room you were on a mission
Yo send me the pic of me stickn my dick in the paint bucket last night
In hindsight, the torn ligament in my knee is probably the fault of the ginbucket and jager bombs starting at 3pm. I guess I'll stop blaming it on you.
dude, I feel like I need to get my gf's roommate a gift. something that says, sorry you walked in on me getting blown. suggestions?
I just remembered that he had fake blood all over his face last night. I woke up with it all over my dick. He was 50. Please don't judge me.
I rolled over and my thoughts became words and I said "oh fuck not you again" he didn't think that was too kind and asked me to leave
who the fuck is meatball and why is he telling you to nap on the bar
Like a gentleman I waited until you were done vomming to start my Big Mac.
Also Fuck you Stephen King and Fuck the horse you rode in on, making me cry In front of my coworkers.
For some reason drunk me always leaves sober me a banana in the morning.
He went down on me for like 30 min and honestly half the time I thought about those videos where people can smash watermelons with their legs and I just wanted to do that to his skull
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