Stephanie. Problem. I think if I had met Murphy before Ben I would have fucked him instead.
Don't worry about your Murphy feelings. I may have fucked him no matter what.
Yeah. He most definitely jizzed himself in the face.
And that's when I found out that Patrick wasn't in fact down with O.P.P.
Wedsnesdays are always enlightening. Tonights revealation: One should not smoke from something taller than their person.
This is getting ridiculous. See/touch her boobs=good day. Not see/not touch her boobs=bad day. I am legitimately depressed over the lack of tits in my hands right now.
im honestly more upset that i fucked a buckeyes fan than about cheating on my boyfriend...
btw im using a cooler as a purse cause i love string cheese
I did shrooms last night. My drug checklist is complete, I can finally graduate.
I feel like my lungs want to punch me in the vagina.
is that even a sentence?
I'm standing outside of the bar watching homeless men teach a kid how to pee of the sidewalk.
did you know that my friend knows a guy with 3 balls what the actual fuck
we got kicked out of the bar last night for sneaking into the back kitchen and eating handfulls of cheese in the walk in fridge
THE FASTEST WAY TO MY HEART IS THROUGH FAMILY SIZED BAGS OF GENERIC BRAND CHEESE BALLS
Just got drunk at the Cheesecake Factory again. Made me think of you.
That's the nicest thing anyone's ever said to me.
rowboat hit a rock. taking on water. going down fast. bring cheerios.
aye aye capn
Randomize
