I had a talk with my mom about respecting myself and not acting like a whore so she will rip my nose ring out if she somehow sees that picture
As I was going down on her I noticed she had a tatoo on her inner thigh that said "Eat it like your birthday cake".
I am literally too baked to press the call button. How am I supposed to bone him?
I was just referred to as 'the margarita slut' by an 11 year old.
i mean, some people chug beer and some people chug hard liquor. some people have good ideas and some people have bad ideas. it's all about perspective.
security doesn't like it when we pee on cars. or maybe just not theirs?
Mission get my tooth back and find a new dick to ride starts after i sleep for the first time in 2 days.
I just pulled a piece of cookie out of my bra in the middle of class. I'm forever alone.
I DON'T WANT TO DEMONSTRATE MY DICK TAKING ABILITIES WITH MY MOM THERE.
No one parties like Jon. He once stole a cops hat, ran like the wind, partied all night with it, and dropped it off at the station the next day with a box of donuts as an appology.
I'm starting to think that birthday sex is just an urban legend. Like the boogey man, and woman orgasms.
HE JUST ALLUDED TO FUCKING MY FRESH LOAF OF BREAD
Woke up in a bathtub with both of my legs broken. How was your night?
If I had feelings, you would have hurt them.
We broke the bed while I was handcuffed to the headboard and let's just say that was a hard one to explain to the RA
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