do you want me to make hamburgers?
i'm vegan
i'll put lettuce on them
he doesn't have near as many excuses as you..and his are usually pretty legit. like "i'm having a baby." that's pretty legit.
um i just went through the in-n-out drive thru and meant to ask for my cheeseburger animal style. turns out what i actually said was, can i get that cheeseburger doggy style? been a rough weekend.
I have a question, if it paid really well, like ridiculously well, would you be a restaraunts under the table resident blowjob girl?
A very small part of me wants you to appreciate me for more than just my breasts. But the rest of me is breasts.
Counseling BFF to break up with her BF. We will get that 3-way
I just broke a sweat shaving my own vagina. Something has got to change.
Lucas & I had a photo shoot with her cape & I had child arm floaties on most the night.. woke up in a spiderman bed
Pretty sure I was high. I thought there was music coming out of my makeup bag.
Old men love us. For they have fine taste and disturbing minds.
I'm trying to get fucked by 4 girls here, and you're worried about verb tenses?!
She had a tattoo of Luke Bryan on her thigh and she made me waffles. Can I have two fiancees?
It's so Britney 2007, you know?
That's right. I just LL Cool J'ed you up in this bitch. Zero fucks.
Sorry I can't pick up... thought process is fine but too stoned to form words.
Randomize
