Pants 0. Shit 1.
I can already tell this is gonna be one of those parties where we sit across the room and text about people.
I was gonna make fun of her but that plan kinda stopped once she put my dick in her mouth
We just passed a billboard that said to join "jerseydoesntstink.com" and literally 15 seconds later, we could smell jersey.
apparently i told her i wouldn't press charges if she brought me food.
the only thing coherent you said from what i saw of you is when you were throwing up, i asked if you were done and you just "uh huh you know what it is"
Im on the side of I-10 covered in sweat, cookie dough, hollandaise sauce, onion gravy, and ground beef wondering how my life I ended up here
Thats stupid. Your future is a life of less pay for the same work. Free drinks is how capitalism reimburses women for its inequality. & youre not even taking it!
DO IT, or I'll send you pictures of my hickey to remind you of your loneliness
She had a cast on when I met her, but she blamed me for breaking her arm this morning. I'm gonna marry this girl.
Your argument isn't valid... just because I test the waters doesn't make me gay. Makes me versatile. And who doesn't love that!
I'm sure he'll make the rejection quick and completely justified.
I know, dude. If he ends up having a tiny dick, I will literally pack it back into his pants and leave. Not worth the aggravation.
How was jagerbomb pong?
It was like communism. Great in theory. Terrible when put into practice
My New Years resolution is to not hook up with random guys.
Mine is to not hook up with anyone who has a kid.
Randomize
