Remember when we did the egg drop from the Dyson building? Her vag is like that, except with a ham, and the ham doesn't make it. I'll be back to the apartment in ten.
This girl has a second refrigerator that she uses JUST for liquor, her kitchen chairs are kegs AND she can grill. I'm not coming back.
He tried to slow-dance with me in bed. IN BED.
there was 12 of us, girls included, shirtless and wielding swords as we bet on rock paper scissors in the middle of the bar. It was like Cinco de Mayo version of the Deer Hunter
ur not supposed to find someone to make out with when ur bf takes u to his SISTERS house to hang out with her and her husband
I got carried out by security last night. AND the taxi had to drive up onto the sidewalk to get me i was that drunk.
Talked to Nate, told him he was a douche. Will give details when sober. It's ok. You're my best friend together a wolf pack. Olive juice.
We were ushered out of Medieval Times by a squire for making out in the torture chamber. Children were present.
I hope so much that you got average or above average dick tonight because I wish you the best
I can only rely on you and Taco Bell
I have fence marks all over my body
Have you ever been so high that you felt like corduroy? I'm at that level.
Last time I was blackout at Cowbells I was running around screaming “WHERES THE BLOOOWWWW”
What?? I could've slept with an ordained minister!
How drunk were you? in an effort to seduce him, you demonstrated your lap dance skillz on his dog.
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