I had to get a ride home from that girl that slept with 3/4 of the band
There is a semi-attractive guy at the door who's looking for you. Says he met you on Chatroulette. Start explaining NOW.
watching "look who's talking now." getting choked up at the end when they find each other at the cabin
doesn't that movie star kirstie alley and have talking dogs in it? new low...even for you
Dude, I couldn't come. She sounded like a goddamn dying walrus.
My ex was here I looked him in the eyes when I grabbed some other guy by his belt and dragged him to a room
How do I tell my Dad that in the picture he has of me and my brother as the background of his phone we were both rolling face on ecstasy?
So your best guy friend eats your pussy once and a while, no big deal. It's like going to jiffy lube once and a while to let the professionals do it. Your husband should understand .
I think that's the first time Navy dress blues and a Ninja Turtles onesie have been involved in the same makeout.
I think I just got judged by the pizza guy. dude, you deliver fucking pizza. you need rethink YOUR life.
I don't think I can recall what a 23 year old cock felt like if one slapped me in the face.
Why are your underwear on my dining room table?
You were naked with a chalice of Skittles vodka, singing along to Les Miserables.
I am watching xfiles and eating microwaved cookiedough, and I see nothing wrong with it.
I jizzed in his mayonnaise and put it back in the fridge. Shouldn't have stolen my weed.
I’ve got full Covid immunity, blonde hair and great tits! I’m basically unstoppable
Randomize
