MY DAD AND I ARE ON OUR WAY OUT OF FLORENCE AND I JUST SAW A MAN AT A BUS STOP WITH A GIMP HAND SLAP HIS DAUGHTER ACROSS THE FACE WITH IT.
I don't think he has that. His apartment was pretty much a tv and a bed. Topless girl calendar and a glass of water to put out cigarettes.
My pussy is not your playground.
Drinking mikes hard & watching the swan princess. i fucking LOVE college
Its piss that you smell... I borrowed that shirt last week. Sooo, wanna grab some laundry soap on your way home? And good luck on your date.
For a second, I wondered if I could smoke pizza.
The 9th floor RA wants to know why we stacked 21 cinder blocks in the shower, and I can't remember. Do you?
How do you get a black eye playing beer pong??
Had to go see my sisters new baby this morn in the clothes I wore to the rave last night. Still drunk. Almost dropped it. I'll be a good aunt right?
"YOU A2TE UNDERAGE LOL" Got that at 2am. Gotta stop dating alcoholics.
He a gives rim jobs, because, of course a guy who opens doors and makes reservations would lick your anus..like a gentleman.
Every guy I've ever fucked is single right now
Pray for me
I have to stop at Sheetz to put my bra back on before I meet you hold on
Stop thinking about me and go on your date... at least I got the glitter off your face first.
Waking up naked and dehydrated has become a regular occupancy for me.
Randomize
