Can a clitoris grow tomatoes? Its symbolic and rhetorical.
fml, blew my nose and red sprinkles came out and did the splits when i sneezed
go do what you do best...puke behind churches
It's hipsters with their motorcycle cop mustaches, moccasins, douchey irony, and department stores to supply their independent conformity
Something's gotta give!
Their flight hasn't even left yet and the 'buy food to keep yourself alive' budget is gone on tequila.
She asked how far humans have gone into a volcano because they did in spy kids. She was serious.
She was shaking her boobs and I was so high all I could think was "breast maracas"
So the bump is from hitting my head in an elevator. Apparently I dived into a cab head first too.....
What's more awkward than your little brother in law screaming, "I SAW YOUR TITTIES" at the breakfast table?
His step dad chiming in on the jokes.
i'm scootering my little heart out so i'm not late for a weed pickup. this is the meaning of adolescence
He's only done it missionary. His world is about to be rocked. Do you know what I look like from behind?
We knew we were dealing with a pro when some random guy at the bar thew you over his shoulder and you still didn't spill your drink
Strangely enough, that's not the first time that's happened
We should. Taco Bell definitely gives me the shits though.
It's girls night. No shame, just febreeze
Cooked. Eating pizza. Didn't have a napkin so I took my shirt off and I'm using it.
I just my had my first cup of coffee in a week. I think I might orgasm.
Randomize
