Take a Tylenol with a HUGE glass of water before you pass out, you'll thank me in the morning.
i dony have tylonal but i had a snickers and popcorn and a bottle of water and i am.. brushing my teeth!
New requirements. My future husband must have a nose ring and wear headbands.
We are no longer friends.
i just found a cheeto on my floor and ate it. i might still be drunk.
yeah well we're currently on the phone and she's telling me about how much she misses me and all this shit and i muted myself and i'm watching porn.
Oh well. haha. i couldn't really understand what she was saying. i just nodded a lot. i guesss she found that sexy.
gotta love spring break
gotta love slutty girls from the south
and ill be dreaming of you. not in a creepy way, but in an inappropriate way
of course he's cheating on me, she's 100x prettier and she can do the splits
the kid next to me in training is drinking sangria. its 9am here in case you couldnt calculate. its going to be a good year.
I was told u were the one who could explain to me why i woke up in the running shower, still in my dress and heels
I feel like if Miami and New Jersey fucked each other and produced a baby that would summarize the bar I'm in.
Cute boy and deffffff wearing a HS shirt. I am getting too old to be inaccurate.
Hows cali? I thought of you as I shaved 1/4 of my legs last night.
Please tell me there is not a bookmark on your browser with the title "Christmas Porn"
After we had breakup sex it took him longer to say goodbye to my boobs than it did to me...
Her car is covered in frozen vomit, and she lost her iPhone. I'm also pretty sure I smoked crack last night. Rest in peace 2014.
Randomize
