oh well at that point I was already depressed with life because I had watched the bratz movie.
You came back with puke all over your sweatshirt and started doing darth vader impressions
Last night you tried to pee on my bed...in the hallway...your room...and the showers. When I finally got you on the toilet you passed out.
yea, the bartender wouldn't serve you because you kept asking for "a slice of beer"
I'm setting a 12:15 alarm for a taco bell run. Be awake or never wake up again.
We are not on the "bring me breakfast" level. He's bringing me penis if I ask for breakfast too I'll just sound greedy
He's hot though. It's not like he JUST got out of prison. That was like months ago
I was changing in front of my window and my neighbor text me saying, "nice pubes."
The Winnie the Pooh costume was great until you got drunk and started yelling at the kids asking for pictures.
I'm back in the dating scene now... Since the legality issue calmed down. And my stalking charges were dropped.
i have my bailey's and coffee which lasts me until lunch, at which time its appropriate for me to bring a vodka and OJ mix for the afternoon. This university thing is grrreat
See, this is why we give you shit. Ashley gets her car cleaned out, I get multiple enchiladas made, and you get cum in your eye.
He put his SoundCloud on his Tinder bio. I felt personally attacked.
Have you ever wanted to murder the Sun? To bring the life-giving fusion reactor to a bitter end because of the sheer agony it brings to your eyes as it keeps you awake. And for waking the birds. Fuck birds.
For a second fuck I think last night went extremely well... our sexual relationship is progressing at a pace that im quite satisfied with.
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