tod's in jail
he was afraid of holiday checkpoints so we let him ride my mom's tandem bike home. by himself. at 4 am.
she was so "full of love" from watching twilight that she came over and gave me a handjob. when does the next movie come out?
He was so bad, he was dry humping me and his dick was nowhere close to my vagina.
scratch lunch, i just found about 7 more dicks drawn on my back
you fell asleep spooning with his golden retriever. im not sure if thats more degrading for you or the dog
Drinking wine in my childhood bed getting ready to go to sleep in order to wake up for my menial temp job. Thanks, college degree, I can handle the real world.
His idea of role playing was him wearing the halloween mitt romney mask while I gave him head
You work today? I woke up with a raging boner that was whispering your name
So much easier to puke and rally now that my gluten's under control
we are the apple cider girls!
Her rack rivals that of the deer I shot last season. You need to get after that.
There was a deer right in front of me when I came. Sex in the forest is awesome
I'm actually kinda upset that we didn't consider velcro-ing detachable capes to our clothes before this moment.
tonight at the bar some people told me that I have a sprit following me around.. that's the kind of shit that you laugh off till you're home alone.
I think my liver just tried to kill me, we need to slow down
By the way, you totally deserve "i got a job sex".
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