about to try to wax my asshole... wish me luck
I'm sitting by the window waiting for the sun to go down so that I can start drinking.
We've got 2 weeks of college left-I want to feel like Gary Busey by graduation.
I had fun watching you interact with the world around you. Like a fuckin 8 year old kid who just discovered build a bear but really wants a cigarette.
Sorry my hands just texted you
Here's my first problem: I'm drunk
Hows the party lookin?
At a live sex show right now. Not sure about the employee party
My bathroom smells like artichokes and absinthe. I am naming a perfume after you and using the money to buy new towels.
No one understands the complete and utter debilitating 3 day bday bender.
I wish you could see all the crumbs in my bra....it looks like Hansel & Gretel got lost in my cleavage.
Alvin just won tickets on the radio. I guess he's out of jail.
Egg rolls and cum. Not my worst snack.
Bra is off & I'm snuggled in a pizza. Adulting is good.
Feels weird riding an elevator with my tongue in my own mouth.
Well I thought I saw everything and then I saw Christmas themed poop bags at Petco.
Randomize
