she read insantiy as in-nast-tit-ty and asked what the hell does that mean...
you definitely made a grilled cheese using your iron..
ya and it worked didnt it??
She asked me why there was $2 in the lunchmeat drawer of the fridge and BBQ sauce all over the kitchen... I'm not sure but I know it has something to do with you
you're surprised the chick that fucked you for a free cup has herpes. i don't feel bad for you.
Well when you're drinking tequila mixed with water out of a steve Austin cup I really don't think acquiring a straw is your main priority
I have to think about this realistically and not with my vagina.
i would have thought, that you two being my best friends, one of you would have atleast tried to catch me before i hit the ground after blacking out.
Sorry if this is weird, but please don't have sex in my truck. I get to be the first...
I thought he was being really sweet and protective when he pulled me away from the guy i was hooking up with, but turns out he just wanted me to get chicken nuggets with him...
I just want to meet whoever runs the hall cameras
hahahaha I don't. Watch one day i'll be walking along and someone will stop me and say "oh you're that one girl who is out. of. control." But then they'd probably give me a high five.
His penis looked like how I would imagine Satan's pinky finger.
I dunno I mean I feel like I owe everyone an apology except the two people I punched in the face
Just so were clear your wife is cut off from my dick.
When you get this divorce finalized we're going to mid evil times AND pirate dining adventure. We're gonna find you a couple of real men and make them joust/swashbuckle for your affection. My treat.
I need a hoe opinion
go on
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