it hasn't hit me that college is over yet. so far at home, i haven't brushed my teeth, taken off my makeup, or changed clothes before bed.
I just saw a man vacuming his front lawn. What is this world coming to?
do you know how hard it is to sit through a 3 hour movie with someone and not fuck them?
you smelled like vodka, i think that's why my grandma liked you
FYI the landlord called, said we need to clean the puke off the side of the house...was someone on the roof lastnight??
definitely not taking the whole return culture shock so well...drinking a 100 proof rootbeer vodka float out of a german beer mass
Remembering I sold my brand new Blackberry to a stranger for a few pints = Worst night of my life. Now to work out what I did with my shoes.
I got my project done and a booty call in all before 1am. I'm a professional college kid.
I just don't do feelings in the summer months.
He snapchatted me his dick and he's circumcised....BRB going to hug his Mom
its like my brain is a tree and you are those little cookie elves
It would have been nice to break the dry spell with nice, civilized, sober sex somewhere other than on my friend's couch.
I just had sex on my divorce papers. I've never felt so poetic.
Come on in. I'm butt naked, in the kitchen, eating ice pops
Do you remember standing up at 3 in the morning and asking me if I was counting to six?
Randomize
