at the bar. watching boys pee in urinals. when they come out we give them a thumbs up or a thumbs down. probbb shouldn't prop the bathroom door open with a bar stool....
Just registered some guy for opium withdrawals. WTF opium withdrawals, who does opium anymore.
pretty sure I offered to blow her dad. she's not speaking to me & he won't stop winking at me.
Almost propositioned sex in exchange for a study guide for my final tomorrow.
remember.. you're not a homewrecker.. you're just creating options for him..
i just feel like the statute of limitations for admitting i plowed through her car last night was up a couple hours ago
Where the royal fuck are you??
The depths of vodka hell.
he has a party story that rivals our "PTSD- soldier-with-a-knife" party story. I'm pretty sure this is part of some prophecy.
it is basically gonna be an ugly Christmas sweater rave
Dude did I even see you at the bar. Cause I was for sure there then the next second apparently I was crying next to my Christmas tree because nobody believed in me.
No ambien sex tonight. I just ate two hotdogs with chilli and onions.
Sometimes you have a glimmer of a heart and then I immediately remember you are dead inside.
MY GOD DAMN TV STOPS WORKING EVERY TIME I AM THIS FUCKING HIGH. WHY MUST IT TORMENT ME?!
Your life is quite full of dick lately.
It really is!
I woke up next to a box of cheese bread it was super romantic
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