My right nipple has been called many things but never a ghost pig
I found out 2day that my dad was a stripper in New Oleans.
I give out O-faces like they're halloween candy
We'll make it into fun. If I can make wii bowling into a drinking game, I can make studying spanish into a sex game.
"Tonight I'm turning swine flu into an std" this might be how zombies come about. Peace civilization.
i am high, trapped with a bunch of skaters and asians watching a cat on lsd on youtube, the girl on the couch next to me is getting fingered, and there is lady gaga playing. god has forgetten about me
dude last night I threw my weed into my back yard. there is now a foot of snow. after an hour I found my weed. if I put that effort into school, i'd have a 4.0.
Well, you're either very drunk or very high but I'll let it slide because I love any type of conversation concerning cheese.
He bought me a flower. He's totally getting head every day for a week.
You mailed him a break up letter, because you thought the "joy of receiving a letter" would ease the pain of you dumping him.
Found your dick twin last night
I still have a scar from the last time she gave me a handjob. There is NO WAY i'll stick my dick anywhere near her again
after you got high, you started to make guac with your bare hands and said: "there's soda bubbles in my legs"
So, if you eat too many protein bars, you will shit your pants. This I learnt today..... at work.
All I remember thinking is, why the fuck are there martians on the ceiling? And they were riding fruit. Like strawberries and shit.
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