I created a new tequila drink. it is a mix of excitement and fear instilled in innocent people.
Every time you buy a sobe you buy a bong.
Normal people don't sit around and watch Degrassi for twelve hours...
FUCK YOU.
When I woke up I had three missed calls from the name 'dream krystals'.... If I remember correctly she was the lady at the drive thru at Krystals and her name was Dream.. She wanted to come to the strip club with us... Do you remember?
I found his backpack for the weekend. All it had was ping pong balls, mardi gras beads, and Tums.
I have to take his virginity. It's what God put me on earth for. It's my life mission.
Slurping strawberries throug a straw. It feels like the kool-aid man is coming in my mouth.
He's more than prepared to help us move. Dude brought sunscreen, cans of Coke, and Captain Morgan.
Sorry for screaming that you were an apple in spanish at the bar last night, that was the wine talking
The way I see it, everyone on campus has a fake, but I'm the only person who actually makes beer in their dorm.
I was scared I had HIV after last time so I'm not gonna do it again
But he was really hot
Glad you don't have HIV
All I've succeeded in doing since I saw you is drool on my shoulder
Apparently when your theatre teacher asks who the best actor of our time is, Nicolas Cage is not the right answer.
Do you own a cuff key and know where Karen lives?
Cover for me. Stopped at Chris’ for a quickie. Broke a high heel and there’s jizz all over my black dress. Fuck pornstars for making workday sex look easy
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