I'm buying this stripper a house, I don't care what her name is.
he was lying next to me and i saw him text "score" to someone.
She referred to her collection of sex toys as an "arsenal." I'm not sure whether to be scared or excited....
I just want to know who nailed the chicken nugget to the door.
you better take a shot tonight for every cat you have ever seen and wanted. this is a lot of cats.
it's not like this is the first time she's brought a guy home and I'm the one who hooks up with him
By the way, I'm pretty sure your husband is publicly advocating more BJs for my husband, via Facebook.
Things you Cant unsee: When your smartphone syncs to your dads laptop and downloads photos...including his porn stash.
I have experienced an excessively hairy ballsack in my mouth...and it was horrifying. I keep feeling it in my mouth now. It's like hairy ball PTSD.
We perfected the quiet ass slap during sex so his roommate wouldn't wake up.
Hey every now and then can you tell me you want to fuck me to boost my confidence? Thanks.
you were acting out moves from the wwe, in a dress. then you sceamed "you can't see me" and ran out of the apt.
she said she doesn't remember seeing me at all last night. ...I was with her for six hours, there's no way she could have been blackout the whole time
That's nice of you to be concerned, but I'm pretty confident I'll marry someone 30 years older than me, ride out being the trophy wife for 10 or 15 years, then live large!
27 year olds can still do oral in a car right? Or is that trashy?
Randomize
