ohhhh fuckk. chicks a dude.
im 80% sure the guy across from me is taking pictures of my legs
He better hope I dont die soon. Because I would haunt his bitch ass and cock block 24/7
How do I say to her "Have you eaten mango lately because my penis had an allergic reaction"
Its like we are women, and boise state is a gangster rap song. This game is degrading
I'm getting very good at recycling my hook ups. So even though i'm having more sex... I'm the same amount of slutty.
Yes! I like to call that picking from the buffet!
Pretty sure that Albanian broad gave me something last night. Now we play the waiting game.
in the event i get tipsy, my nipples are your responsibility
they still hired me even though my background check came back with a warrent for my arrest.
It's isn't revenge sex until you've cum on her porcelain doll collection.
I don't think anybody else enjoys making out with multiple guys on the same night as much as I do. I'm like a wine taster but with lips... it's like art to me. The bruise on my upper lip is proof of it
My bed is full of blood and feathers
If I wear a tail on Halloween, how am I supposed to grind? Maybe I will just wear devil horns
I'm sorry that running around town like a frenetic wombat trying to find you KY jelly isn't good enough for you.
I woke up with a jacket; in it passport, hockey tickets, sunglasses, credit card, bank transactions
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