He dyes his hair, fake tans and lies constantly. What did you really expect from him?
A better fuck for starters.
i guess you could say your face is two degrees of separation from my balls
He only uses me for sexual pleasure. The sad part is I don't even feel like a slut. I just I feel like I should just live in the top drawer of his nightstand....for free of course.
So she said she wears a diaper when she's on her period and I'm not going to lie, I kind of want to see the diaper.
Apparently Bin Ladens last act of terrorism is cock blocking me....
3 months til "no sober october" start prepping now. i cant have you bitch out on me halfway through like last year.
I got my project done and a booty call in all before 1am. I'm a professional college kid.
Trust me. I don't get home before 5am. I know what Immmm doing. BTW bail money is in my closet. PEACE
Also, I might need your help for a prank involving a hand puppet, a coke bottle, double-sided tape, and my dick...
So it's national ass day?! I love October. No bra last Saturday and now ass day. This is my month. God is dedicating this October to me!
Ah well. Drinking wouldn't be drinking without mystery bruises
Agreed.
I've discovered my ability to crush a man's ego is greater than my hate for beer.
They should make eskimo sister bracelets. OMG WE NEED BRACELETS WITH IGLOOS ON THEM.
Am i obligated to tell my sister her girlfriend was my one night stand three months ago?
Periods are much less exciting when you're not sexually active.
Randomize
