Have fun with your cool freestyling girlfriend!
She can rap better than you any day
My penis looks like a roll of pennies
Oh. Ok. I get the hint.
Like a roll of pennies where the paper got wet & then dried all wrinkly and weird...
woke up this morning with "hah" written on my penis.i was like wtf?? morning wood kicked in and found out what it really said, haNNah.then i remembered.
i just told my mom tuesday boozeday rhymes so that she can remember not to text or call me on wednesday mornings
youre going to kill that woman one of these days
soo I had sex last night and he wore a condom, pulled out sans condom. we looked everywhere and couldnt find it, even in my vag. so Im in the library at school and I googled it and it gave me "gentle digging" techniques, and sure enough, found it. ew. I'll be purchasing Plan B after class.
Just got to school and somone already mentioned the amount of cereal im carrying.
I was blowing him while he was singing Happy Birthday to his girlfriend on the phone. I win.
In times of desperation, never...NEVER put green apple scented hand sanitizer on your vagina.
My parents woke me up at noon to tell me my maid had found my clothes strewn all over the neighborhood
Need to find a Santa hat to fit my penis, he deserves to be festive too.
He just showed up in boxer briefs and loafers with only his phone and condoms
I just don’t understand what sort of USPS worker wants to take my unitard and sex toys.
Bold words for someone NOT on a unicycle
I'm sorry, but if I hear stories of you getting fingered in the ass, and selling weed, you are not coming to my party.
I just asked Geoff what he is going to do because Hester left he said he was going to have gay sex with America.
Randomize
