Going to bed naked. Too bad I am all alone. Need to make some changes. Either sleep with clothes or with you
Its like common courtesy of dating, the guy pays for the weed, just like dinner
Just saw a group of asian tourists in safari outifts bow in thanks to the starbucks guys. And no Im not high.
sometimes i think life is slapping me across the face and laughing, saying "ha ha! you're an adult!"
Thats alot of pressure.
Just on your vagina. BTW I'm passing your house.
Remind me in the morning that I've now seen a guy do crack. That actually happened. I'm at the wrong party.
apparently my new 420 ritual is to look at the clock at 4:20 and realize i'm already too high
whatever bro. i had ice cream and whiskey for breakfast and its noon. this is the second worst christmas ever.
In other news, I just sent her a video of me masturbating while driving in the rain, so I guess you could say I've mastered Snapchat
I just puke and rallied at my anniversary dinner #winning
Many a woman has been in tears over the passing of my penis' whorish ways.
I came back from England with a face tattoo and the only thing anyone can talk about is my beard.
sometime during the night he found me in the empty hotttub singing marvins room in only my bra.
what the fuck happend anyway? How did it go from smoothies after work to blacking out?
The bouncer said the club was at capacity we couldnt get in till ppl left all three of them pulled their tits out we got complimentary bottle service never under estimate women
Randomize
