Oprah is sooooo fat. I can't even concentrate on Mackenzie Phillips talking about banging her dad
You act like this is the first time i've fingered two 17 year olds at the same time
please tell me you didn't have sex with him in the bathroom...
Does an alley count?
4 am. She strained the mac and cheese onto her legs. She has no skin.
He would only do it doggy style. The "he's probably gay" debate rages on...
How many times can I tell him that I wasn't expecting sex before he finally figures out that I'm just too lazy to shave?
why the fuck are my pubes caked with bread crumbs?
Having a man strip on demand was an awesome way to start birthday. What more could a girl ask for? U the best!
S.O.S. he's talking about horses and breast feeding.
I seriously doubt I'm gonna be able to properly put your dick in my mouth whilst upside down, but I'm willing to give it my best shot
My boss followed me on Twitter. Excuse me while I delete 90% of my tweets
I woke up with a bagel in my mouth, still ate it. Free breakfast
I taught a straight girl about grindr today. She showed me tinder. It was like some sexual cultural exchange program
Can I chase this vodka with an onion?
We got high, had sex, and watched retro scooby doo shows. Best friends with benefits yet.
Randomize
